I was running for the border over something I had done
When I got side-tracked at a rest stop by a cowboy with a gun
He brought me to the Deming Tavern where he then untied my hands
Said somebody wants to meet you, he’s the meanest in the land… Meanest in the land!
Then a man stepped from the corner, tall & tough, and Big, you know
They didn’t have to tell me, this man was Tequilla Joe
Ol Tequilla was well known for when a showdown came to pass
While the others lay there lifeless Joe would always last… Joe would always last!
He said they tell me you’re a straight shot and tonight the stakes are high
So if you’d kindly take a seat Dear, we’ll see if they were right
Soon the bar was lined with glasses in rows of ten and all shot sized
They were flooded with Tequila, the kind that burns your eyes… The kind that burns your eyes!
My first five went down like kool-aid, hell I even passed on lime
But his went like quicksilver and By-Joe they weren’t lying
When they said he was the meanest, when they said that he would last
Five shots went down in fury then five more went hard and fast… Five more went hard and fast!
Now I’ve met a lot of cowboys that told me they could drink
But this one has me nervous so I throw a little wink
I tipped my glass to Hollywood and cowboys with a gun
Joe tipped his glass to movie stars and cowgirls on the run… Cowgirls on the run!
The shots just kept on coming and we toasted everything
I said to America The Beautiful and Joe began to sing
Then he reached across the table and showed me his tattoo
Knocked back another shot and said I think you need one too… I think you need one too!
But you should have seen Joe’s face when my jeans dropped to the floor
I showed tequila my tattoo and I didn’t show No more
It must have got him hot and bothered cuz he spilled his next big shot
Then began to hoot and holler now let me tell you what… Let me tell you what!
There’s an old Tequila legend, it runs deep here in this town
And Joe’s the local Hero, no he’s never been shot down
So all wet now he’s reminded he can’t lose what he began
He knocked back another shot and said girl do that if you can… Do that if you can!
Now things were getting crazy, we’d shot damn near 24
He looked as straight as when we started like he could shoot bout 20 more
And I prayed for when it’s over, that my body’s still alive
I cocked that glass and slammed it for a full on 25… A full on 25!
And then Joe’s eyes got big and hazy and I saw him look around
He was moving in slow motion as he tumbled to the ground
I guess he’s heard about me somewhere, guess he knew I’d been around
And when Tequila had me kidnapped- I Shot Him To The Ground… I Shot Him To The Ground
©1988 Jill English